


Bruce's endless fight with candy

by NerdyGremlin



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), dc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27368815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyGremlin/pseuds/NerdyGremlin
Summary: Bruce can't look at candy the same way, but he was to blame.
Kudos: 18





	Bruce's endless fight with candy

First day of October was coming soon and all the bats were just positively excited, sure halloween is amazing but the month of October had a tradition started when Dick Grayson came into the picture. Well, not right away; you see this tradition started when Bruce got a little cocky and said he could defuse a joker bomb and got hurt and Dick hurt too, Roy and Wally did not like that very much especially since they were told by Dick what was Bruce's last words before he did the most dumbest thing in Batman history. It's so weird that it happened, it's almost like a creator wants to take a mostly perfect man and ruin him from the inside. Strange. 

Anyway details ain't important what is important is two major details, one being that on October Bruce had reluctantly agreed to having candy thrown at him if they heard "because he's batman" in the context on fixing or just bring a cocky bastard when Iris Allen came in to "talk" with Bruce. Never seen Bruce so pale, so scared. Second, his friends get to stay over for a whole month to do this and once he got siblings beside the occasional Barb he made it a game, a very competitive game.

Though this year was very special! Damian had decided he wanted to stay with his family, and even gotten closer to everyone outside of Grayson, so now Dick has him join in the festivities. 

Waking into the movie room in the manor, he spotted his siblings watching a movie. Perfect. Grabbing the control from Jason with an annoyed, "hey!" following up with it he paused the movie and got in front of all of them. Back straight, game face one. "It's the last day in September guys." He pointed out with a devilish smile, everyone besides Damian cheers for they knew who's coming over! "What's so important about that Richard?" Damian asked, he knew october had halloween in it and the goth family do like their spooky season as you would guess, but the acrobat and others weren't this excited for Halloween… were they? "A very important tradition I started and Dami, and you can join this year's B.H.B. games!" The older had a gleam in his eye that was scary, he doesn't normally have it but today he does. "B.H.B.?" Damian questioned, moving his head to the side like a confused puppy, "because he's batman." Barbara answered for Dick, I swear this man just likes naming things. 

"Thanks Barbs, now this did start with Bruce being a tab bit too cocky on a mission getting us both mildly injured. His last words were 'because I'm batman' thus the shortened name, now how this game had become isn't important, but basically if you say 'because he's batman' my two best friends will throw candy bars at Bruce. Who has the most candy bars thrown at Bruce wins a whole month of doing whatever they want and this can be cashed in whenever you want it. You understand my little angel?" Dick mischievous side showed itself, not even the 'little angel' sounded as innocent as it normally did. Bruce was in for it. "I understand, it sounds fun and all, but why?" Jason rolled his eyes and got up from his chair, matching the same aura of Dick. "Because seeing Bruce pelleted by a snicker bar is funny, come on short stack tell me you don't want to see daddy get hit by candy?" Damian had to agree the thought was humorous on its own, nobody can keep a straight face with such an image. "Well don't bother playing because I will this time, mark my words Grayson!" Duke stated as he shot up; he was becoming more and more of the bats the longer he stayed here, Dick laughed placing his hands on his hip as everyone joined in the competitive banter.

Soon as the first of October and as the crisp cool air hits Dick's face as he stood outside waiting for his friends to arrive, Wally came first using speed while Roy used the Zeta Tube walking through the cave; he tried to sneak up on the young acrobat but failed, batman taught him well. "Dickie! I missed you so much!!" Wally jumped into a tight hug, Roy gave them both a short hug but the two didn't let him off the hook. "Great to see you guys again, got the stuff?" Roy and Wally lifted up very large cloth bags of candy bars, perfect. Absolutely perfect. "Cleared out three gas stations on my way here dude, paid with the cash you sent me." Wally told. After a few minutes of catching up they went inside to finally start the game.

Nowhere was safe for the vigilante. Nowhere. His kids all turned against him putting "because he's batman" into conversations that don't even fit for such a saying to be uttered, and the places! Fighting a person who is like you in some ways is one thing; Roy was human and trained by Oliver Queen so it was a bit fair with him, however Wally was a metahuman and faster after coming back from the speed force. He was outnumbered and yet deserving of said punishment… that saying really did came back to bite him in the ass.

Bruce at a board meeting? Snickers.

Bruce taking a shower? Laffy taffy with a bathroom joke on it.

Bruce fighting the Riddler? Smack was a fast thrown starburst hitting him and the villain.

Zoom call? A payday bar, though that one was very appreciated. He was a tad bit hungry on that call.

So many bars hitting his face no matter what he was doing, and the worst part was he couldn't ask for help if he wanted to, Iris made sure everyone agreed on her punishment for the dark knight. Nobody messed with Iris, it wasn't smart too.

Hell Alfred had a chart for who had the most candy thrown at Bruce!

By the end of October all of the kids gathered around in the living room to hear who had the most candy, Barbara had the least as usual —she's barbara gordon she can take a break whenever she feels like it— so the rest were basically on the edge of their seat on who won. Wally was busy with little Lian —who also joined in, chanting it while Roy was throwing M&M at Bruce for a straight hour— so the announcement came from Roy holding the paper Alfred wrote with neat handwriting that the calligraphy fans would have an orgasm over. Yes, this is how canonly Alfred got chicks. 

By two points Damian won, his first time playing he won and no nobody purposely let him win either! After the celebration the two redheads had to leave and others left too, leaving Grayson and little Wayne to themselves. Sorta. They both decided to go on a patrol while Bruce glares at the kids coming for candy.

"So did you have fun dami?" The older asked after popping another M&M in his mouth whilst swinging his legs over the edge of a building, earning a now not-so-rare smile from the young Robin the kid was beaming from pride and joy. "It was fun, especially seeing how much of a sore loser Todd is after the announcement." He had a sly smile curled around a lollipop, asking what he'll use his prize on was not necessary, both of them know what he's going to do with it.


End file.
